Letters Home

I think one of the most frustrating things about homeschooling is that after you teach the kids for 6+ hours, you suddenly turn into the parent and now get to help them with the homework that they didn't finish during school hours.

Today as the teacher, I should have written a couple of notes home.

Dear Parent,

Today your son/daughter was extremely disruptive in class today.  He/she was standing on his/her chair and making loud cawing noises at the ceiling while slapping his/her rear end.  As a result, the other students were horribly distracted and were not able to complete their work in the allotted time.  Amazingly, your child DID finish all the material that needed to be covered--as well as the next 4 lessons.  Indeed, your child frustrates me to no end.  Could you please find a better educational facility for him/her?

Sincerely,
The Teacher


Dear Parent,

I love the way your son/daughter writes.  I just wish I didn't have to endure the 15 minute temper tantrum that ensues immediately after I assign a new writing assignment.  I must say however, that his/her spelling has improved significantly in the last year.  But of course, this has probably stemmed from the dozens of dictionary pages I have assigned him/her to write after all those tantrums.  I am recommending that we do not push him into a desk job....

Sincerely,
The Teacher


Dear Parent,

Please review the addition and subtraction flashcards with your child this evening. Amazingly, the child seems to be regressing daily.   It is quite evident that he/she needs MUCH more practice.  Please incorporate these measures immediately to stop this downward spiral.  Too much regression will land him/her in a special home or an asylum you know...

Sincerely,
The Teacher