Nail Polish and Beer

I needed to make a quick trip to the grocery store.  Since Dan was home (napping because he had started work at 4) I decided to take the 3 noisy younger ones and leave the 2 older ones.  As I was pulling on shoes, washing faces, etc, I noticed that Paul was sitting ever so quietly, hands splayed on the table while Lindsay was meticulously applying a vibrant shade of blue on her brother's finger nails.

With a cry of alarm I grabbed Paul and tried in vain to scrub off the polish.  All the while I was telling him that it is NOT OK for a boy to wear nail polish.  Paul didn't seem to mind--he said he liked the blue!  And of course, try as I may, I could not get it off.  Unfortunately for him, blue nails did not keep him from getting hauled to the grocery store.  5 minutes later, we're on the road.

En route, Paul pipes up from the back seat, "I found a can of pop mom!"  Since we had just brought the bottles to the bottle depot a few days earlier I assumed he must have found a stray can.  The crucial piece of information that I had forgotten was that my brother had put 4 cans of beer in the back of my van to bring home to my hubby 2 days prior. 

All at once I hear that familiar fssst when a can of pop gets opened.  Paul hollers out, "UGGGHHH!  that's disgusting!"  ....then.... "MOM!  I spilled it!"  All of a sudden a smell assaults my nostrils--beer! 

At this point we've arrived in the grocery store parking lot.  Trying to stay positive I open the sliding door to survey the damage.  My 5 year old's shirt and shorts have large wet splotches of beer on them.  His nails are bright blue.  He reeks of alcohol.

I haul them all out of the van anyways and shut the door quickly--hoping the overpowering, disgusting smell of beer radiating out of a family vehicle full of car seats stays our little secret.  We blast through the store, avoiding people and run through the self checkout.  No one, thankfully asks any questions.

On the way home I ensure I drive 5km/h below the speed limit.  I'm doing all the proper shoulder checks and correctly stopping in front of all the thick white stop lines.  I really don't want to be pulled over right now.  We get home without incident and after supper I happily offer Dan 2/3's of a can of beer.