A Walk along the River

Like a Man...

Seth: Mom...Can I sleep like a man tonight?  Please?  PLEASE?????  (Sleeping like a man involves wearing pajama bottoms and no top).

Me: Sure Seth.

Seth: OH YESSSSS!!!!  I'm going to sleep like a man.....with my blanky and all my frogs...even my orange frog!

Me: Sure Seth, that sounds good.

Seth:  YES!!!

(Later in his room)

Me: Seth...what song do you want to sing before bed?

Seth: I want to sing 'Oh Canada'....like a MAN!

Phone Messages

Eric: MOM!  A lady called.

Me: Ok, what did she say?

Eric: She said her name was Marilyn.

Me: Ok...what did she want?

Eric: She wanted to talk to you.

Eric is now walking towards me.  I am in the back of the barn and he is holding the phone as it loudly beeping--signalling that it is out of range of the base.

Me: SIGH, Eric turn off the phone.  Did she give you a message?

Eric: Yeah, she wanted you to call her back.

Me:  Did you get her last name?

Eric: Nope.

Me: Did she leave her phone number?

Eric: Yeah.  She told me to grab a paper and a pen to write down the number she told me.  But I was standing beside the front door and didn't have a pen and paper so I couldn't write it down anyways.  I just listened then hung up.


-----Turns out later I found out that the lady who called was our lawyer's secretary.  We were waiting for that call.  And by the way...the lady's name was Melanie.------

Eric's been banned from answering the phone for the next 6 months--or until he's taken another course on proper phone etiquette.

Ode to the Washer

Dear Washing Machine,

Words fail me.  I don't think I have ever found a more faithful sidekick than you these last 10 years and I don't think I've ever given you the appreciation you deserve.

When you entered my home you washed the clothing belonging to 2 people.  The work was not hard unless I gave you a load of dirty dairy coveralls which, I must say, you dealt with amazingly well.  You were shiny and new and looked great.  Soon a little one was added to the household and your work load increased a little.

Then life took a drastic change for you.  You were roughly thrust out of your spacious basement, loaded on a truck and exposed to the elements for a good hour.  You were hauled off the truck again, wheeled through a tiny hallway and forcibly pushed and shoved down a narrow staircase.  There you sat in a rather creepy looking basement.  But despite the trauma, you did not succumb to PTSD.  No, you faithfully washed a load of blankets for me--yes that very same day.  Thank you.

7 months later, once again, you were violently man handled.  This time back up those narrow creepy stairs, onto another truck and another brisk ride where you were exposed to the elements.  By now we were a family of 4 who depended on you.  Yes, all this you took in stride.

After another rough jolting with a few more dings, scrathes and dents, you found yourself in your current resting place.  While you have not moved since, our family dynamics have.  A third, then a fourth, then a fifth child.  Still you worked faithfully.  The laundry loads changed from 1 a day--to 3 a day--to even 8 a day. 

Dear sweet washing machine.  You have stood ready at 2:30am when a child had puked all over his bedspread.  You have willingly washed yet another set of smelly sheets when a child had a night time accident.  You tackled a weekend's worth of camping clothing.  Washing machine, we never, never gave you a break.  We totally used you and gave you nothing but more work in return.

But now, we decided to change things up.  We've decided to give you a break.  We're the ones who have left, and you will not be jostled up the stairs again.  We have done this so that you can perhaps live a longer life.  Once again you will serve a household of 2.  You will be given an easy life.  You will not be abused. 

Take care sweet washing machine.  Thank you for being so faithful.  You have made my life easy in an area that would be otherwise quite unbearable without your presence.  Enjoy your rest.  You deserve it.

--The Gordons--

The Names of Courtney

When you are the youngest in a household of 7 you have 6 other people who have the apptitude to give you nicknames.  It's a total shaft but Courtney has borne up amazingly well.  She responds to her plethora of nicknames with either delight or complete indifference.  Here's a list.

CHICKY-POO Her dear sweet mother gave her this name.  It is used as a term of endearment.  Thankfully she's reacts to it fairly well.

RED ALERT This one was made up by one of the nursery attendants at church.  I find it incredibly fitting and we have adopted the term.  Often one of the kids will be heard hollering this name out--obviously an indication that Courtney's up to no good.

SPAGHETTI BUTT This one she got from her sister--yeah real enchanting isn't it.  But also accurate.  You see, I usually put Courtney's meal on the little tray in front of her as she sits in her booster seat at the table.  When Courtney decides she has had enough food, she will stand up do a full 180, and promptly sit in the remains of her food.  So...one particualr night we had spaghetti.......

RED FIVE Her dad gave her this nickname.  Obviously she is a red head.  She is also the 5th child.  Honestly, I think her dad knew she really just needed a nice nickname for a change.  Oh I'm just told that red-five is also from Star Wars.  That would make sense then.

TROUBLE Given to her, lovingly, by her eldest brother.  The name is also self explanatory and definately deserved.

SNAP!

So the other day I snapped. 

And I mean I really lost it.

Yes, I'm talking complete erratic, bizzare, uncharacteristic behavior for me.

And it happened while I was on the phone...to a telemarketer...that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Background circumstances: Lindsay just broke her arm on Wednesday.  We spent over 8 hours in emergency with the possibility of going to the Stollery yet.  We got home at midnight and promptly went to bed.  I did not sleep one wink that whole night.  I was in some pain and it did not subside all night.  I got out of bed at 6 and carried on with the day.  Meanwhile I was waiting for a call from the Stollery.  I also zipped out to see my doctor for an appointment.  By 6pm I was completely exhausted.  That's when the phone rang.

RING RING!!!

Hello?  Hello??  HELLO???

Yez, iz dis Uneeta Godon?

sigh... Yes, it is.....

crackle, crackle, background noise, incoherency...ve have recieved .....your computer........warning message.....virus.....static, other voices...

REALLY???  THAT'S SUCH A LOAD OF CRAP.  YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SCAM.


DON'T CALL HERE AGAIN! (Here's where I was literally
 screaming into the phone...in front of my husband and kids. Oh I feel so proud).

But ma'am... we received these messages...

BE QUIET AND LISTEN!  REPEAT AFTER ME... 'I WILL NOT PHONE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN.

Ma'am?

SAY IT!  REPEAT AFTER ME...'I WILL NOT PHONE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN.'  I CAN'T HEAR YOU.  SAY IT!  SAY IT!!!

ma'am I don't understand...

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND????  EVEN A KID COULD UNDERSTAND SUCH A SIMPLE INSTRUCTION!  SAY IT!  SAY IT!!!

And here is where I hung up.  Not 10 seconds later the phone rang again.

Hello?

Hello, iz diz Uneeta Godon again?

You can't even listen to instructions.  JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!  LEAVE ME ALONE!  LEAVE ME ALONE!  JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!  I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.  I WILL PHONE THE POLICE AND THEY CAN THROW IN JAIL BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A DIRTY SCAM.  LEAVE ME ALONE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

At this point my husband took the phone from me and ended the conversation.  I put the 3 youngest kids to bed and promptly fell asleep on the couch by 6:50.  Definately not my finest hour.

Broken Bones

Oh wow, has there ever been a lot going on lately. I need to be doing a little blogging to catch up. We're going to start with my little girl--Lindsay.

It was just one of those things that happen--you know...it happens plenty of times in a day--one sibling pushed another sibling, there's a cry of protest, etc etc etc. Last Wednesday was no different.

Paul was barrelling down the deck steps. Linday was standing on the second step from the bottom (about a foot and a half from the ground). Paul pushed his sister and ran for the swing. Since i saw the whole thing I pointed at Paul and told him to go sot on the bench. I went down the steps to see how lindsay was doing. She was not crying. I picked her up, put her on her feet and then noticed her arm. It was bent kind of like a 'U'. I picked her up and knew this was a hospital visit.

We went to Devon since I had heard that this hospital had short waiting times. Honestly, within 20 minutes Lindsay was checked in, had her vitals taken and even had her X-rays done! The doctor came along and we were told that both bones were broken in the lower arm.

Since she is only 7, they decided to sedate her before attempting to set the arm. This would involve getting an IV. We talked to Lindsay about this and let her make the decision. She chose the needle poke so she would not feel any pain in her sore arm. They got an IV ready and poked. Lindsay did not make a peep. After a few seconds the nurse quietly said, "No. It didn't work." She looked at Lindsay and said, "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. The poke didn't work out. We're going to have to try again." Lindsay was a little upset but she put on a brave face and replied, "It's OK. I can be brave again." The nurses were so touched. Try #2 happened the same way. It did not work. When the nurse looked up she told Lindsay again, "I'm sorry Lindsay. It just didn't work out again." At this point I could tell that Lindsay was quickly losing all bravado and was visibly discouraged. but again she replied, "It's OK. You tried. I can still be brave." This is when the nurses started getting teary eyed. They kept telling Lindsay she was one of the best patients they have ever had.

The nurses decided to give Lindsay a break and during that time Lindsay turned to me and asked, 'Mom, can we pray to God that the needle will work next time?" Oh what faith. it made this momma's heart melt. So we prayed. A few minutes later the nurses returned to try a third time. Once again, it did not work. Lindsay did have tears comeing down her face at this point but told the nurses that it was still OK. But this momma did not think it was OK. I immediately said, "No more needles. Find another way. There must be something she can take orally."

So they DID come up with something. It was a memory erasing drug. It would make her drowsy, hopefully to the point where she would fall asleep, and then they would set her arm. It is possible she would cry out in pain, but she would have no memory of it. They cautioned that using it would probably be more difficult for mom to deal with.

I okayed the drug. It was administerd and Lindsay did indeed get drowsy, though she did not sleep as we had hoped she would.  I was readig to her from a certain children's magazine and Lindsay was listening. Meanwhile her arm was set and casted. Not once did my little girl cry out in pain. As the drowsiness wore off, we went back to get the newly casted arm X-rayed. Might I add right now that the cast was BRIGHT pink. Oh, SO perfect for my little girl.

We sat down in a chair to await a release from the hospital. It was suppertime now and we were hungry. The results were in. the doctor looked at the newly set bones and came over to us. He told us he wanted to double check with an expert in the Stollery. Ok...we could wait a little longer. So we waited...and waited...and waited...I think we must have sat 2-3 hours before the Stollery recieved, reviewed and got back to the doctor. The final word: Take off the cast, make an adjustment and re-cast. If the arm swells when the cast comes off, send the patient to the Stollery tonight.

Well, when I told Lindsay the news she cried. We had to start all over again. She was tired and hungry and she had been so brave. I held my precious little girl on my lap and we both prayed again. Mustering a little more bravado again (which I completely attribute to the Lord) she was reday to try again. I told her that they would put on another cast, just like the one she had now. Lindsay looked at her arm. "I don't even know how that cast got on there.  It was like magic!" WOW! That drug actually worked!

So the cast cutter got pulled out and the cast was sawed off. Thankfully the arm did not swell! Another answer to prayer! The doctor came in and said he was going to set it again without giving her any drugs since she did not cry out the first time. Well...alrighty. I just wanted to go home. A quick adjustment without a single peep from Lindsay, and another bright pink cast was stiuated on her arm. Back to X-ray for a third time.

After the X-rays we waited to be released. The doctor came to see us and said he still was not completely happy with the way the bones were set. He sent the X-rays ahead to the Stollery and he told us that he was referring us to the Stollery. We could go home but to expect a phonecall from the Stollery in the next few days and recieve further instruction from them. by now it was 11:30. We were both toast. Home and bed were looking mighty sweet.

Well, today I heard back from the Stollery.  We are to come in tomorrow and they want to get a few more X-rays.  Oh I do so hope and pray that they do not need to re-cast a third time.  Yet I am also thankful that the Stollery is one of the best children hospitals in the country and they will do their best with our precious little girl.