Reflections

I'm one of those pessimistic people who happily celebrates the passing of time.  2012 is over and I think that's great!  I'm not saying it was a bad year.  Actually it was a pretty fantastic year.  There were some huge changes made in our life.  To note a couple:

     ~In March Dan and I went to Mexico for a 9 day holiday.  It was a badly needed holiday.
     ~In July we moved out of our little house in Spruce Grove and onto a beautifully, treed farm.
     ~In August we started farming chickens.
     ~In December our youngest became 'church trained' and our whole family is now sitting in the pew every Sunday.

But really, I'm glad I don't have to go back and live 2012 over again.  Right now we're a year closer to the Lord returning.  I'm a year closer to death.  I've learned some good lessons in Christ's school last year that I'm thankful I won't have to revisit.  I can see that I've grown in grace and I wouldn't want to give that up.  I've lived in this world for almost 30 years now.  That's a long time.  Mercy and grace have sustained me every day that I've been on this earth.  Of that I am certain.  And I know mercy and grace will carry me everyday until I reach Home.  God is faithful.  He'll not let me go.

So let the years go ahead and fly by.  I hope they do.  The most pressing work to be done in my life is completed.  Christ has done it some 2000 years ago.  I am hidden in His wounds.  I am safe.  I am ready to die.  I would love to see my Saviour.  I would love to meet all the saints who have already crossed that dark river called death.  I would love to lie before the throne of God in worship.  This world is nothing but a wilderness.  It's a dreary, unwelcoming place for a pilgrim.  But right now God would have me trod it's paths.  That's why I am here.  And I will take hold of His Word and His promises and go forward in that light.  I will cling to Him another year and he will lead me.  He always does.  He will give me kingdom work to do and I will do it with His help.  But always, always, always, I will be looking toward heaven.  That's my home.

So despite getting an invitation to go out to a friend's place tonight for fondue and a games night, it seems fitting to go to the house of the Lord and finish off my year in the house of God instead--recognizing the great Giver and Sustainer of life and worshipping Him.

Lord, come quickly!

Foiled.

Courtney's my name.....

Escaping is my game!



 





When Mom tucks me in at night,
She also locks the door real tight.

 

 

 



Because my door is always being latched
I've laboured and created a new escape hatch!



 

But alas, it led no where, and for this I have toiled...

Another genius plan, yes once again, completely spoiled.

Handled With Care

Here is an essay written by Andrew D. Scrimgeour and published for the New York Times.  I really appreciate the sensitive approach the writer takes to another man's treasures.  I think I would attempt to leave my precious books to one who would see their value and understand how much I loved them.  It is an awesome gift to receive the fruits of what one has poured himself into building all his life, and the gift is all the more personal and meaningful should you know the individual who has passed on.  It is a gift of great trust.  As a reader myself, I should think that in terms of material things, it is one of the most meaningful gifts one can give to another.  A library is so, so personal.  It would be a giving away a piece of oneself that continues to live on.


==I have been here many times before. Not to this particular library but to others like it. Some have been on college campuses, others in private homes. Some have sprawled through many rooms, including the bathroom; others were confined to a single space. One had no windows; another overlooked a lake. Most were crowded. All were dusty.

Each was the domain of a scholar. Each was the accumulation of a lifetime of intellectual achievement. Each reflected a well-defined precinct of specialization. But what they also had in common was that each of their owners had died. And by declaration of their wills, or by the discernment of their families, I had been called to claim or consider the bereft books for my university library.

One of the little-known roles of the academic librarian is bereavement counseling: assisting families with the disposition of books when the deceased have not specified a plan for them. Most relatives know these books were the lifeblood of their owners and so of intellectual value if not great monetary worth. But they remain clueless about how to handle them responsibly. Some call used-book shops. Some call the Salvation Army. Others call a university library. Many allow friends and relatives to pick over the shelves before bringing in a professional.

 

On this particular day I’m standing in the doorway of a distinguished but forlorn library in South Bend, Ind., ready to perform last rites on the extensive collection of James White, a noted historian and specialist in the liturgies and worship practices of the Christian tradition. I always pause before entering these libraries. Even after the family has shown me to the space, I can’t just barge in. That seems disrespectful. I need to be introduced to the books. I need to become acquainted.

Surveying these rooms, I find myself wishing I had a ritual to invoke, for the study I’m about to disrupt is a private, beloved retreat — an inner sanctum for reading, reflection and writing. And since it is here that someone wrestled with ideas, sought integrity of expression and gave expression to fresh-jacketed voices, the book-­studded room seems sacred. Is there a prayer I can offer? Sometimes I think I should take off my shoes — a physical act to show my respect.

What first catches my eye on this day is the calendar on the desk — a small scenic calendar from Vermont Life. It displays October 2004. (Professor White died on Oct. 31, 2004.) It’s as if time froze in this space on the eve of All Saints’ Day. Two volumes of Calvin’s “Institutes of the Christian Religion” hold pride of place in the middle of the desk — one open and face down, undoubtedly the last book he was reading. Bach’s chorale preludes are in the CD player, and my first act is to fill the library with the music White loved and often played on the spinet piano in the adjacent room. Before disturbing anything, I photograph the room from several angles, ensuring that his desk and books are captured for the archival record.

      

I prefer to inventory the books by myself. It is a way not only to get to know the library but to commune with the former dweller of the room. Sometimes the utmost diplomacy is required to persuade family members that I don’t need assistance as I sort, box and make notes in solitude.

These libraries have ranged widely on the tidiness scale. A few look ready for a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot. One was fully cataloged; each volume stood tall in its proper Dewey location, spine perfectly aligned to the edge of the shelf, a regiment ready for inspection. Another was a health hazard — hundreds of books piled on the floor, knee-high canyons to navigate like Gulliver on Lilliput Island. Happily, most have been in between — well organized but showing ample evidence that someone had been working there.

      

The placement of individual books, as well as the adjacencies of groups, intrigues me. Are they subject categories, chronological gatherings, project clusters, a map of intellectual terrain or evidence of the constraints of space and shelving? Which books are closest to the desk or kept on the desk? Which are consigned to the bottom and top shelves or the closet? Books sequestered in the shadows behind others suggest clandestine reading and hidden pleasures. Sometimes, though, they are simply gifts hidden away for a coming event — a birthday, graduation or anniversary — a greeting card, yet unsigned, often their companion.

      

Did the professor value dust jackets? Did he write in the books, underline passages in red, dog-ear the pages, use Post-it notes? Inscriptions on the title pages tell of personal and professional friendships. Frequently, I find book reviews tucked among their pages. Often they are about that very book, possibly what prompted its purchase. Occasionally, something unusual tumbles from the pages — Civil War-era currency or a note from a famous person. Of particular fascination are the well-worn or worn-out volumes — the indispensable reference works or canonical texts in one’s field.

Sometimes I find books belonging to libraries that long ago abandoned hope for their return. The letters of thankful astonishment that I have received from some librarians after they opened the unexpected packages are treasures in themselves. “Could we hire you to visit the homes of a few other delinquent scholars?” one library director asked. “We would be happy to make it worth your while.” Another concluded her note, “This gives new meaning to ‘Death the Grim Reaper.’ ”

Removing the books from their familiar niches takes time and requires a personal approach. I place the books in boxes one volume at a time, noting each title, silently calling each by name — a bibliographic benediction for a job well done in this place for this scholar. At times I feel camaraderie with bishops who lay hands on confirmands and unhurriedly bless them by name, one at a time, regardless of how long the line stretches down the center aisle. I have little in common with moving-company packers for whom books are anonymous blocks of paper that stack easily. There is no grabbing the books by the handful, plunking them into boxes with speedy professionalism.

      

But what has taken years to create, I dismantle in a matter of hours or days. All too soon, walls of colorful volumes are reduced to a cube of brown cartons resting on a pallet, without a hint of the academic landscape they once shaped. The room itself becomes stark, the bookcases empty, the sweet autumn musty scent of the older books gone, only photographs, stapler, memorabilia and much dust remaining.

      

I leave as quietly as I entered, carrying with me privileged knowledge — the warp and woof as well as the quirks of this scholar’s habitat.

      

I wonder what the experience of future librarians will be as electronic books increasingly dislodge those that can be touched, smelled and boxed. Will private collections in the digital environment add value to university libraries, or will they be constrained by complex copyright laws? Will they convey a unique ethos, capable of stirring admiration, even sadness and rituals of respect, from the librarians sent to gather them?

      

For the moment, the collections to which I am called still consist of paper, ink, glue, covers and jackets. I find solace in knowing that these orphaned books — White’s collection in Indiana and many others across the country — have been adopted and become the companions of a new generation of students and scholars.

Andrew D. Scrimgeour, dean of libraries at Drew University, has just completed a book of Christmas stories.

Potato Run

I asked Seth to go downstairs and get me some potatoes for supper. I handed him a a big bowl and off he trotted. I did not think to clarify that I wanted him to FILL the bowl with potatoes.  He came back with 4 tiny potatoes rolling about in the bottom of the bowl. You see, he hates potatoes. The less there are for supper, the less there will be for him to eat.



Time to Read?

It amazes me at the frequency that people ask me the following question:

When do YOU have time to read?!

So tonight I am going to answer that question.  The simple answer is....because I MAKE time to read.  Reading is important to me.  I love to read.  I need to read.  If I am going to teach my kids I need fresh inspiration.  I need to read.  If I am going to keep from being overwhelmed, I need a break to rejuvenate and focus my mind elsewhere.  I need to read.  If I want to glorify God I need to be setting time aside.  I need to be reading.

Obviously with a thousand obligations, it's easy to allow reading to fall by the wayside.  I admit that there is ALWAYS something that is more pressing that could be done...like...
      --folding laundry
      --marking Math
      --tweaking lesson plans for the next day
      --cleaning the house!!  (you would not believe how far behind I get on this one!)
      --writing letters
      --'playing' cop, judge, jury and warden all day with kids
      --book reviews or Bible Study lessons
      --making meal planning lists
      --ironing
      etc etc etc!!!

In the past I have fallen in this trap of working away the 'to do' list completely before allowing myself the opportunity to read.  That is probably the most discouraging thing I have ever done to myself.  I was discouraged and depressed and still never, ever done.  I determined to get back to spending a little time in a book everyday since it really makes such a difference for me.

So here are some practical guidelines I follow to make this happen:

1) I don't read when my kids are awake.  I believe they deserve my full attention.  Also, I believe the 12 hours that they are up is a sufficient amount of time the Lord has given me to get the daily work accomplished that He has placed before me.  I need to be working those hours and making the MOST of my time.  And to be frank, my days are very, very busy.  I am always, always running.  I do not sit still.

2) I start my day by reading.  I am happiest this way.  Before breakfast I sit in the office and read the Word of God.  Currently (if you're interested in specifics) I am following a reading plan that brings me through the whole Bible in a chronological order.  Right now I'm in the book of Jeremiah.  I read 2-5 chapters every morning.  Then I read a short devotional by Jonathan Edwards found in a book entitled 'A Journey Toward Heaven.'  If something profound has caught my attention I will write about it in my journal.  Otherwise I settle down to pray--trying specifically to pray about something I have read in the Scriptures this morning in addition to 'regular' requests and praise.  I never turn on the computer until I have finished devotions.  This is very important for the world will quickly consume our devotional time through avenues like facebook or e-mail.

3) My whole day is orchestrated in such a way that when the kids go to bed the dishes are done, the main living spaces are tidy and I am able to settle down for the evening.  When the kids go to bed, my day aught to be done as well.  Some days this requires running hard all day--especially on days when I am teaching school, driving to piano, and finalizing catechism memory work.  (Yes, Wednesdays are TOUGH for me)!  As a result, some days I am feeling pretty ragged.

4) Aside from Bible Study, Kid's Disciple's Club and nights when we have company, evenings are usually left open and I will spend a portion of that time reading.  If you must ask, I am currently reading selected sermons by Thomas Boston and another book called 'Escape from Camp 14' by Blaine Harden.

I know that if I do not prepare for a time to read it will not happen.  This means working hard all day to have free time time at night.  It means saying 'No' to company sometimes.  It means getting up a little earlier in the morning.  It means not allowing yourself to become enslaved to an endless list of obligations.  It certainly means a lot of self-discipline at times!  I have to jealously guard these times as it can quickly get gobbled up by many things and even well-intentioned people.  But I recognize that if I don't read regularly I will get burned out.  And I'll get crabby.  And I'll lose perspective.  And I'll turn into a crazy workaholic.  And how is God honoured in that when He Himself tells me to rest in Him?  (I've actually done a small personal study on the topic of rest--and what the Bible has to say about that--perhaps another blog post). 

So the answer to the question 'Where do you find time to read?'

I MAKE time.  I make time to receive refreshment and blessing.

It sure makes sense to me!

A Piano Recital

Forgive me for being a little nostalgic here.  I know many parents have gone to piano recitals with their kids but this was my first and I was so proud of my little girl and so impressed again with her teacher. 

 

Lindsay did really well at her piano recital--and she's only had 3 months of lessons! Her teacher is the youngest of 3 sisters who all give lessons at their own home (12 minutes away from our house!!).  Their father has built them a music studio that is separate from the house where each of the girls take a day of the week and teach music lessons.  Each of these 3 girls have or are working on graduating from the Music Conservatory.  It was a special treat to hear all 3 girls place pieces of their own that they have written--and not only on piano either.  No, we were treated to an amazing piece written by one of the girls for the piano and then later heard a piece that included the harp and flute as well.  Lindsay's teacher is very high in both her flute and piano. Well, those girls made an amazing trio--flute, piano and harp.

 

Anyways, I was able to talk to Lindsay's teacher after the recital. Lindsay has a natural 'knack' for piano and you can tell her heart is in it.  The teacher, who is also soon becoming a member within our church, says we can teach her some hymns to play at future recitals if we want. I asked if we could teach her the old Genevan Psalms. Also, no problem! Lindsay may also pick what she wants to learn to play. It is such a blessing to have a godly music teacher. She is so encouraging for Lindsay and Lindsay absolutely adores her.  The best thing is, since her teacher has extremely high credentials, I never need to find another teacher for Lindsay if she wants to pursue this piano gift in depth.

 

 I got a picture of the two of them doing a duet last night.

 

 

 





 Group shot of all the kids who played last night.

 

Lindsay and her teacher.



Snip-Its

--I love how Seth insists on holding my hand every time I go to bring Courtney downstairs for her nap or at bedtime.  He always wants to pray with her at night.

--Lindsay's been baking up a storm.  She made muffins by herself and was tickled pink that she didn't even drop any eggshells in the batter.  Later she also made Kraft Dinner for lunch and then a pot of coffee for me.  After all this frenzied kitchen activity, she settled down and did 2 days worth of LA and Math.  Way to go Lindsay!!

--After 10 years, i finally have a puzzling table set up again where I can happily sit and do my big puzzles.  We have enough space and children who know NOT to touch it.

--Pastor was back at the pulpit this morning after being away for 2 weeks due to church meetings and the like.  We used his absence to train Courtney in church which involved a lot of wiggling, squirming, babbling etc.  Needless to say, I'm a little starved to hear a sermon now.

--Courtney said her first sentence: "NO! NO!  My book!"  Yes, flattering isn't it.  But she is such a little cutie.

--When Eric and Lindsay are memorizing their catechism, they are usually lying on the ground and doing some weird acrobatics involving legs in the air and that sort of thing.  But the apple does not fall from the tree because I remember doing the exact same thing when I was younger.  It really does help to memorize the tougher parts.

--This past week Isaiah really encouraged me--not just Monday, but continually throughout the week.

--I was VERY excited this past Saturday to finally discover a laundry detergent that cleans WELL, smells nice and is priced properly.  It took me 10+ years to find this!!!  So I bought a second jug to celebrate.

--Courtney sat through a whole worship service this morning!!!!!  She didn't get taken out at all like the last 3 services.

--The moose are no longer visiting us.  Instead we are seeing deer and elk with increasing regularity.  I hope the thrill of seeing wildlife here never gets old.

There's so much I'd love to talk about and mention but a public forum such as this blog is not the place.  So signing off until I have another block of time to do some writing.

"Fear Not...I Will..."

I journal.  Not everyday, but when I read the Word of God in the morning and something really profound hits me I like to try to write about it.  I had a special time like that on Monday morning.  I kept wanting to share my thoughts on my blog but Monday went by, then Tuesday and now it's Wednesday night.  I wanted to write a nice polished, crystal clear piece on my experience, but time has elapsed.  Proof that God gives grace for the day.  That same grace is still carrying me, but the initial impact is gone.  Instead I am going to share what I wrote in my journal.  Let the piece speak for itself 'in the moment'.  It's in a raw form.  Recognize that it's early and I haven't even finished the first coffee of the day before I finished writing it.  But that's just it...no glory for me hidden in grandoise wording.  Just an exposed heart in its raw, unedited form.  Let the Word speak for itself.  It does not need my input.

November 19, 2012

My hands are in poor shape.  I woke up many times again last night from the aching pain in them.  There's been little sleep and little school work completed due to barn work these last 2 weeks.  We are grossly behind in school.  There's a Reformed Christian School 20 minutes down the road that will happily take my kids and most likely do a better job with the kids than I can.  We've had pulpit supply the last 2 weeks.  I am badly discouraged.  I am ready to throw in the towel.

My Bible reading plan told me to read Isaiah 40, 41, 42 and 43.

The over arching theme is 'Fear not!'  'Fear not!'  'Fear not!'  Over and over we hear it.

'Fear not, for I am with you' --Is. 41:10
'Fear not, I will help you' --Is 41:13
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you' --Is 43:1
'Fear not, for I am with you' --Is 43:5

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young." --Is. 40:11

Then it continues to speak of how great God is--we can't weigh mountains or count dust or place the hills in the balance...lifting up the isles would be a huge deal to us--it isn't to God.  He knows every creature he has created...he calls them by name...not one of them is missing (Is 40:26)

"Why do you say, O Jacob, And speak O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord, and my just claim is passed over by my God' " --Is 40:27

No, the Lord keeps talking in the next verses.  He says he is unsearchable.  He gives power to the weak and to those who have no might he increases strength. 

Chapter 41 continues with big things God has done and yet he takes notice of us --vs. 8 says, "But you Israel are My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, the descendants of Abraham My friend (Romans 4;11-25 says that I too am a child of Abraham, through faith).

Then verse 9: You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest regions, and said to you, 'You are my servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away.'  Lord, that's a really precious truth.

"Fear not, for I am with you.  Be not dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you.  Yes, I will help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  --Is. 41:14

And then I realized all the 'I will's' in chapter 41...

'I will strengthen you...' vs 10
'I will help you...'  vs 10
'I will uphold you...'  vs 10
'I will hold your right hand...'  vs 13
'I will help you...'  vs 13
'I will help you...'  vs 14
'I will hear...' vs 17
'I will not forsake...' vs 17
'I will open rivers in desolate heights...' vs 18
'I will make the wilderness a pool of water...' vs 18
'I will plant...' vs 19
'I will make...' vs 19

Chapter 42:3: 'A bruised reed he will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench.'

And then chapter 43.
vs 1: "....I have called you by name; you are Mine."

vs 4: "Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honoured, and I have loved you....."

vs 20b, 21: 'Because I give waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to My people, My chosen.  This people I have formed for Myself.  They shall declare My praise."

Thank you Lord!  You have truly given me water in this wilderness.  I will praise you!

My Chickens are Here!

Seth is absolutely in LOVE with the chickens on this farm.  Everyday he goes in the barns with his dad and helps him pick dead birds, or looks for weak ones, etc.  2 weeks ago we shipped another flock of chickens and Seth suddenly found himself with little to do for 14 days.  There were no birds to take care of, no regular morning schedule. 

 

As him and I were sitting in Tim Hortons last week he told me, "Mom, I miss the chickens.  Can we go to the grocery store to see them?"  Oh, that boy always makes me smile!

 

Well, he had been waiting all week for Friday to come--knowing that Friday was the day the chickens would arrive.  As the Maple Leaf trucks entered the yard Seth was ecstatic!  "My chickens are here!  My chickens are here!"  He dashed out the door and was in the barn in a shot.  "I will help dad in the blue loader!" he called back to me.

 

So I followed him out and snapped a few pictures.  This boy is truly a farmer at heart--already at the age of 3.

 

 

 

Seth in the 'bwue woader"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Seth surveying 'his' new flock.

Growing Up

My little girl has had a lot of new things going on on her life these last 2 days.  I wish she could tell us for herself.  It would be so much fun to hear her take on things rather than hearing it from a 'mature' practical, adult mind.

 

First of all, I put Courtney's hair in 2 pigtails on Sunday. Oh...she is soooo cute with them!!!!!  Look and see!!!

 

 

Next, we decided to take her into church with us on Sunday evening.  I think she did alright.  She's not known for sitting still or being quiet--EVER.  So we took her in.  She sat with her daddy.  She flung her hands in the air.  She mangled his tie.  She pointed at her brother and said, "PAUL!"  She touched the boy's head who sat in front of us.  She wiggled.  She said "UH OH!!" when she dropped her Cheerios.  At 35 minutes in she arched her back and hollered to show she had enough and her daddy took her out.  It was hard to miss the little smile he had on his face.  He adores his little girl--even when she feels exasperated with present circumstances.  10 minutes later the two of them returned.  Courtney had a candy in her mouth, Daddy had a smile on his face and they settled down together again.  And she wiggled.  And squirmed.  She leaned over to look at grandpa and grandma.  She said, "PAUL!" again.  then 15 minutes later she had enough.  Daddy left the sanctuary with his unhappy little girl again and they didn't come back as the service had ended by the time Courtney had calmed down. 

We are so very proud of our little girl.  She will join us in church again this coming Sunday.  As parents we are excited about having all of our kids upstairs sitting with us in the pew.  And with our youngest now in 'training' I must say, it feels good to be in a new stage.

The next 'new' thing Courtney experienced was new sleeping arrangements.  by this I mean I took apart her crib and gave her a big girl bed.  She highly approves!  We always start by placing a mattress on the floor so the kid does not fall far or hard should they roll off the mattress.  It has worked 4 times now and here we go training the 5th one to sleep in a new bed.  There's a hook on the door so she doesn't escape her room in the middle of the night.  But really, at nap time she was super pleased and had no trouble falling asleep in the bed at all.

All these milestones...and I'm not sad that they're happening.  No, actually I'm thrilled.  I don't feel nostalgic.  I know I've soaked in every moment with this little girl and have enjoyed all those firsts and lasts.  I am thoroughly excited to move onto these next years.  Years without diaper bags or nursery schedules.  Years without nap times.  I'm excited to start the 'growing' years.

Tragedy

 

Barbie had a horrible, tragic accident--orchestrated by Paul.  There were no other witnesses.

 

 

Dear Courtney

Dear Courtney,

It was my most sincere wish that I would not have to write such a letter to you.  Only once have I had to write such a letter and it was to your older brother Paul.  But dear girl, however harsh these words may sound, you deserve it.  The story of your reign of terror will no longer be kept in the shadows.  I am including the above picture as a testament that what I write is true.  If this is not proof enough, I also have pictures of every incident I intend to write about.

The minute you were born and I realized that I had a red haired little girl, I wanted to disprove that awful stigma that people believe about red heads--you know...that red heads are rather hot tempered.  But little girl, you were born with this in your heart and regardless of how your mother loved and coddled you, you wanted to have your own way.  And the way you ensured you would always get your own way was by perfecting the most awful screechy wail.  And you use it all....the...time....

Lets just look at how much you screamed today for instance.  Your dad wouldn't let you eat his entire breakfast (after you had already finished yours), and to ensure that he would have something to fill his growling stomach, he gently took you off the table where you had strategically placed your little behind RIGHT beside his plate.  You were quite literally breathing on his breakfast.  Was this the morning that you sneezed all over his toast and egg too--leaving a wad of snot behind?  No, I think that might have been the day before...or maybe 2-3 days ago...but I digress.....

Oh right...the screaming....oh how you howled when he put you down.  Then you climbed back up and once again were taken down.  You tried a third and fourth time.  Each time to no avail.  By now your dad had finished and I'm pretty sure you used that opportunity to utter your dislike for the present situation.  Soon your momma started school.  Anytime attention is diverted from the 19 month old, we are succumbed to a lovely fit that can last anywhere from between, oh, 1-3 hours.  In fact, we have become so accustomed to the background noise that the work gets done regardless.  Little girl, you screamed during breakfast.  You screamed during school.  You especially screamed when I wouldn't let you eat the tips of my white board markers.  You screamed while we waited for Lindsay to finish her piano lessons.  You screamed when your brother wouldn't let you eat, swallow and digest his little prized rubber cars.  You screamed when I was cooking supper and wouldn't let you dip your foot in my pot of boiling potatoes.  You screamed when I wouldn't even let you walk on my counter tops and on my stove.  You screamed at supper when the cheese had been eaten off your sandwich (by YOU) and ALAS, it wasn't replaced!  Needless to say, is it any wonder your mother marched you off to bed for a nap by 10:00 in the morning--2 1/2 hours earlier than usual?  Really, you wonder why you end up in bed at 6:30 in the evening?

Now to be fair, this was only an overview of one day.  You do not scream incessantly all day everyday.  No, that would make you predictable and I have not found any predictability in your character at all.  For instance, immersing Sunday shoes in dog water 10 minutes before leaving for church is not at all related to standing on my printer and calmly looking outside.  Nor is eating pop can tabs in any way similar to scribbling on the children's half completed school assignments. 

However, in many things we are seeing a little correlation.  For example, when I complete the daily pantry rescue, where I find the 19 month old dangling precariously from the snack shelf (located second shelf from the top) I find it perfectly normal to saturate my socks while wading through the several litres of water that, not 6 seconds earlier, you have released from the water cooler to the pantry floor.

Also, I have discovered the direct correlation between extreme confusion and delay and a 'Courtney bathroom visit.'  Oh, the activities that go on here I hardly dare utter, but when I started this letter I determined not to leave anything in the shadows.  Large wet gobs of toilet paper resolutely sitting on the floor are generally an indication that you were thirsty.  I have also discovered that if the gobs are 'fresh' I can often catch you in another room of the house with one in your hand yet--busily sucking the moisture out of the wet, soggy toilet paper ball.  But once again, you are not always predictable.  Sometimes when I enter the bathroom the toilet paper is undisturbed.  Then, as I look into the toilet, I discover an entire pack of feminine hygiene products, unwrapped, and submersed.  Even then it's not always predictable, for I've also fished  Q-tips, a cup, and even Seth's pants out of there.  Lovely.  Just remember, what you do DOES come back to you one day.  When the toilet paper and the toilet are left alone, I discover instead that you've fed our toothbrushes to the dog outside.  Or...you've sucked on your father's razor and cut your lip.  Or...you've fallen asleep in the bathroom sink.  And remember, I have photographic evidence for ALL of this.

Courtney, you inhale all my school erasers.  You've pushed my fax machine off the desk where it crashed to the floor.  You smacked my windows with a meter stick.  You run my dishwasher when it's empty.  You smeared pilfered chocolate spread all over my carpet.  You take the phone off the hook, leaving a busy signal to any callers for hours.  You harass the dog.  You erase my whiteboard while I'm trying to teach.  You throw dog food down the stairs.  You destroy your brother's LEGO creations.  You climb on my counters.  You pick holes into the oranges.  You shove toys into my central vac system.  You touch my books.

Courtney, I love you like crazy, but you are a real stinker.  I end this letter on the same note that I ended my letter to Paul so long ago.  It seems to have worked for him. 

I have 16 years to cure you of this behavior. I can only reiterate what I have said in the past; it’s a good thing 2 year olds are so cute, otherwise there would be abandoned toddlers running rampant through the streets causing a lot of chaos, destruction and mayhem. Welcome to boot camp girl, population: 2…you and me!

Love MOM

Daily Reality

 

This is the pile of laundry that awaited me last Friday.  It is approximately 8 loads of clean laundry, waiting to be folded and put away.

 

3 hours and about 68,000 distractions later, my laundry room looked like this.

Today is Tuesday and my laundry room looks like this.  This is approximately 10 loads of laundry.  I need to find another 3 hours...somewhere...somehow...  Realistically, I think it's going to be more like 5 minutes here, 2 minutes there...

 

 

Update: Courtney just stuck a clean towel into an unflushed toilet.  I think I may have died a little on the inside.

Sugar HIGH...

Courtney trying her first slurpee.  She was EXTREMELY possessive.  Yes...she's my little junk food addict.

A Day Out

Upon the sale of our home, the real estate guys gave us Family Day passes for West Edmonton Mall.  We decided to spend them at Galaxyland.  We took the 4 oldest with us, leaving Courtney with grandpa and grandma.  The kids LOVED the rides!  Eric liked the swings the most (like me).  I'm pretty sure Paul and Seth liked the airplane ride the most (they went on it ten times for sure!)  Lindsay liked the virtual reality 'Happy Feet' ride the most.  Eric was too short to go on the Mind Bender with me so I let that one go.  That is definitely my favorite ride--fast and crazy!  We finished off the day by going out for supper at Red Lobster.  Following are some pictures.  They were taken by Dan's cell phone so they're not the same quality I would get from my camera, but I was hesitant to take my camera to a place like Galaxyland.  I am certainly thankful Dan took the pictures for me.

A Well Rounded Day

There are so many things I want to write about. I have 4 future blog posts in my mind if I EVER find the time to write them. But I wanted to write a little bit about this day. It was a good day. It was a very well rounded day.

I got up at 6:30 and was very blessed to be able to get 30 minutes of quiet time. That's really good in this house!!! Usually someone will find me in the office long before that! We did breakfast and some school. All the kids worked diligently (this is a HUGE win for the day and super rare) and as a result, we got quite a bit done today. Plus, in the middle of the school morning I was able to make a 3 minute, uninterupted phone call to my friend. That's a HUGE win too! It left me with a smile on my face :-)

We ate lunch early and 2 elders from our church came over for our yearly visit. It was SUCH a good visit. Very encouraging! I am thankful for the time these men give to build up the members of the congregation. After the visit I was able to spend time with Eric and his catechism. I like to be involved in their catechism instruction. I'm not one to send them off to their room to go learn their stuff. No, I like to sit with them and help them through it. As a result, I've had some great discussions with my kids!

After catechism I sat down and did some piano with Lindsay. Her teacher told me last week that she thinks Lindsay is ready to participate in a recital in November. WHAT??!! The girl has only had 6 lessons! But it's nice to see her hard work paying off--and that girl certainly tries hard!

Since the day was absolutely beautiful, and I felt we had totally wasted the awesome weather, I decided to take the kids on a walk around the farm. Behind the barns there's a really nice trail that goes through the bush. I took all 5 kids with me. Seth held my hand the whole time. What a sweetheart! Courtney held my hand most of the time too. Eric told me that Paul and him had made a trail in the bush. Did I want to see it? Sure! So I went bush whacking with the kids. That was a blast! It was quite a long trail and we had to stomp down a lot of 'spikes' as the kids termed it. We ended up coming out of the bush at the end of the driveway.

During a supper of chili, toast and garlic bread, we discovered that Courtney had shoved an orange crayon and 7 puzzle pieces in the toaster slot. Unfortunately, this discovery was made AFTER the toaster started smoking and smelling like melted wax crayon. Perhaps more surprisingly, I didn't even flinch. This seemed like a typical Courtney stunt.

After supper I sat down to do some LA with Lindsay and some Social with Paul. Paul was learning about the different ways we communicate. Seth was sitting at the table and kept repeating the word 'Communicate...communicate...that means talking to someone, mom.' It was super cute. By then it was 7:30. Time was getting away from me. I closed the school books and took Paul and Seth to my room where I read them a story about Frog and Toad. Then I read a story from 'More Little Visits With God." Seth was getting cranky so off to bed they went. I told Seth while he was in bed that tomorrow he could help his dad in the barn again. That brightened him up. I told him he was a real man and that I would make him eggs for breakfast.

I headed back up the stairs and settled on my bed with Eric and Lindsay. This is our time to do Social Studies. Currently we are learning about the Incas. Today we learned about the High Inca. A High Inca's son went through a series of tests to ensure he could follow in his father's footsteps. So we pretended that Eric was the son of the High Inca. At first Eric liked this because it meant he was a warrior who fought and passed tests of great strength. But once we learned about what happens at graduation, Eric wasn't interested any longer. Besides having his ears pierced and stretched over time (until his lobes touched his shoulders) the graduate received sandles and a new girdle for his loins. Also his head was endowed with flowers and evergreen leaves. Really...I can just SEE Eric's expression during THAT kind of a ceremony.....

The kids went to bed at 8:30 (too late really) and I sat down to figure out how we were faring with our school year. I wanted to find out how far behind we still were. Turns out, if we work hard the school year can be completed by May 31. This gives us a 2 week break at Christmas as well. But, the schedule will be intense, and we'll have to stick to it. Positively, it is a 4 day schedule which gives us some room during the week for extra barn work, visits, field trips and the like.

Anyways, like I said, it was a good day. I felt like work got accomplished and I was able to have fun with the kids too. I wasn't overly taxed with obligations.  It felt like a normal day should feel.

Sunrises

I love sunrises.  They make me think of heaven.  Rays of light piercing through the darkness.  Pink and orange hues scattered throughout the sky.  Sunrises breathe hope into a new day.  They chase the long dark night away.  Sunrises make me think of God's faithfulness--of His mercy in giving me another day...the reminder that's He's preserved me.  (Lam. 3: 21-26).

Generally I start my day when it's dark.  I get up and make some coffee.  I read for awhile, then I go and watch the sunrise.

One day there won't be any more sunrises.  A trumpet will sound.  The heavens will open.  Christ will have returned in all his glory.  I will meet Him, whom my soul loves, in the air.  I won't need sunrises because I will live in His light forever.  The Lamb, my Lord Jesus Christ, will be the light (Rev. 21:23).   Darkness will never settle over me again.  There is no more night (Rev. 21:25).  Just glorious, beautiful light. 

Sunrises remind me of this day that I know is coming.  It is a most wonderful, glorious thought in which to begin a day.  Oh blessed day, please come soon!

Q: What comfort is it to you that Christ shall come to judge the living and the dead?
A: That in all my sorrows and persecutions, with uplifted head I look for the very same Person who before has offered Himself for my sake to the tribunal of God, and has removed all curse from me, to come as Judge from heaven; who shall cast all His and my enemies into everlasting condemnation, but shall take me with all His chosen ones to Himself into heavenly joy and glory.
--Lord's Day 19, Q&A 52 of the Heidelberg Catechism--

Erasers

You know what's maddening?  I have been trying to download 1 picture, yes 1 picture the last 2 days for my blog post.  I've been sitting in front of the computer for 20 minutes while waiting for a picture to upload.  Well, I'm not wasting time anymore.  I'll describe the picture.

On my kitchen counter are 2 piles of newly purchased white erasers.  Each package holds 5 erasers.  One pile has 2 packs.  The other pile has 6 packs of erasers.  Hmmm, I wonder if I can draw it out for you...


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Yeah...something like that.  So we have a total of 10 erasers in the second pile and a total of 30 erasers in the first pile.

The second pile is for Eric, Lindsay and Paul...for their school work of course.  The other 30 erasers are for Courtney.

You see by the fourth day of school, Courtney had snagged and consumed 3 erasers.  With erasers disappearing at such an alarming rate, I don't think I budgeted enough for school supplies this year.  I don't WANT her to eat them of course, but I also want to be realistic.  So being a planner, I figured I have now covered all my bases.

Money for Plants

In church this past Sunday...

Eric reads the board indicating what the offering is for today.

TORONTO
CHURCH
PLANT

Eric scrunches up his face and leans over to his father, "Dad, why are we giving money for a plant....that's in a church in Toronto?  It's a plant!  Can't we just use the money to take care of our own plant?"

But the story doesn't end on that note.  Nope, his flippant comment came back to bite him.  As I relayed this piece of humor to my friend she replied by asking me if Eric went to catechism last Wednesday.  You see, every Wednesday evening at catechism our pastor takes some time to explain to the all the kids what the offering will be for the following Sunday.  In this way the kids become a little more knowledgeable about the organizations we as a church support.

Eric was at catechism the previous Wednesday night.

Our pastor explained to all the kids what a church plant was.

Obviously, someone was fooling around.

And someone just got caught.

Socialization

Homeschool kids get a bad rap.  Apparently they are unsocialized...blah, blah, blah.  I'm not opening up that discussion.  Just come to our house and see if my kids won't drive you nuts with all their questions and comments that will be directed at you.  Seriously, they make our guests feel like celebrities--to the extent where we have to tell our kids to leave our guests alone.  Yeah...poor unsocialized homeschooled kids....ridiculous notion!

BUT, I will say that homeschool moms have the tendency to be unsocialized.  4-5 days a week must be fully dedicated to school.  I try not to answer phone calls.  I try to keep people away while I teach, because, well, I am responsible for giving my kids a decent education and part of that means removing distraction.  It also involves a deliberate intent to create and preserve a solid learning environment.  For me this means I have to KNOW what I'm teaching the kids everyday which involves extensive preparations.  I have to have their work marked.  I have to ensure corrections are made and that they understand the material given them.  I need to make sure we are covering a good amount of material everyday.  This all takes a lot of time.

Then, when the school day is done, a homeschool mom still  has a family to take care of and a home to maintain.  It's not unusual for me to see 6 loads of laundry on a Monday.  Meals need to be put on the table.  There are little ones who need attention.  Floors need sweeping, bathrooms need cleaning, kids need bathing, and chores need to be delegated and supervised.  Discipline needs to be meted out.  The list is never done.  Pretty soon a homeschool mom feels the pinch. 

Now, I LOVE, and I mean I really LOVE teaching my kids.  I think it's a good option for our family, if not the BEST option for our family right now.  Maybe things will change in the future--that I can thankfully leave in the Lord's hands.  But the road can be hard at times and it can get lonely too.

Let's face it, when you get busy, I mean really busy, you stop answering phones.  You don't talk to friends or family much and the circle starts getting very small.  Discouragement and loneliness creep in and yet the excuses for keeping yourself unsocialized continue unabated--and the reasons are usually very good.  'Can't have people over tonight, I need to plan my lessons for next week.  Not answering the phone, I have to teach.  After I drop the kids off at Kid's Disciple's Club/birthday party/catechism, etc, I'll do my groceries since I haven't had a chance all week.  I've GOT to catch up on my marking.'


I think homeschool moms run a much higher risk of being unsocialized than their kids do.

If you're a homeschooling mom who's reading this and are expecting to now read a solution to this problem, my answer is that I don't have one.  I've come to the realization that I, myself, need to get out a little more.  I need to enjoy the company of other Christians more frequently.  I need to ask people to pray for me more often than I do.  I need to stay involved with a congregation that I love.  How do I do this?  I'm not sure.  Right now it feels like one more thing to add to my to-do list, and that's already starting off with the wrong attitude towards the very matter I was talking about!  One day I'll increase in wisdom and have this all figured out.  Until then, I'll just keep treading water.

Quoting a Famous Allegory

Upon hindsight I realize my recent posts are 'heavy.'  Today's plan is not much different.  I am sharing an exerpt from John Bunyan's 'Pilgrim's Progress'.  I am reading it to the kids, who by the way are LOVING it, but I am also gleaning MUCH encouragement by it.

We find Christian tired and discouraged when he finally looks up sees a place he knows has been built by the Lord for the relief and security of pilgrims.  He is welcomed inside and is served and encouraged by Prudence, Piety, and Charity.  And here is a part of the conversation that takes place...


PRUDENCE: And what is it that makes you so desirous to go to Mount Zion?

CHRISTIAN: Why, there I hope to see Him alive that did hang dead on the cross; and there I hope to be rid of all those things that to this day are in me an annoyance to me: there they say there is no death, and there I shall dwell with such company as I like best.  For, to tell you the truth, I love Him because I was by Him eased of my burden; and I am weary of my inward sickness.  I would fain be where I shall die no more, and with the company that shall continually cry, 'Holy, Holy, Holy.'

See Isaiah 25:8 and Revelation 21:4 for reference.

Where a Few Gather

The chickens are gone.  This is when the work REALLY starts on our place.  Dan and I both work hard in the barns for about 2 days at getting the manure out.  I asked if my in-laws would consider taking 3 kids for a sleep over so that I would not have to worry about them as well.  No problem!  Now we were down to 2 kids from Friday night to Sunday morning.  This got me thinking...maybe, just maybe I could go to the prayer meeting Saturday morning before we started work.  Dan agreed to take 2 boys out for breakfast on Saturday morning so I could go!

I am so very, very thankful I went.  What a time of blessing!  There were only 4 of us.  We sang and then our pastor read a portion of a psalm and spoke about it.  Then we shared some prayer requests.  The others had taken a pen and paper with them to write things down.  Since this was my first time, I did not.

The atmosphere was calm and so relaxed.  It felt so natural, so right and good, to pray with others from the congregation.  One would pray on a certain topic and when they finished our pastor would finish with an amen.  Then the next one would pray over a certain topic and once again our pastor would finish with an amen.  We continued in this fashion until the list was prayed through.  Extra requests were mentioned along the way.  We finished by singin Psalm 63 (I LOVE that psalm) which really was so fitting.

It was a beautiful way to start the day, and it very much set the tone for the rest of my day.  On the way home I added my own private prayers to the mix of the prayers that we as a group had already brought to the throne of heaven.

All I can say is that I really want to go again.  I have 5 kids but I want to go again and I will look for a way to go again as well.  The blessing I received was worth waking up early  to an alarm clock.  It was worth the 35 minute drive.  I realized afresh that this is my family.  These are the people I'm going to see in heaven.  I want to pray with my congregation.  I want to pray for my congregation.  Thank you Lord for these desires.  Thank you Lord for providing a way for a busy mom to find a place of quiet worship and sweet fellowship with believers.  Thank you Lord.  Oh how you've blessed me today.

The Costliness of Prayer

Following is an exerpt from a book by Alexander Whyte entitled "Lord, Teach Us to Pray."  which I've read, own and constantly reference.  The book talks about prayer and this particular chapter talks of how prayer can be so costly to us at times.  I've wept when I read the words for I know the words are so very true.  I weep as I write them again.

"3. Both time and thought are easy, pleasant and costless compared with this, --Thy will be done.  To say "Thy will be done" when we enter our Gethsemanae, --that throws us on our faces on the earth: that brings the blood to our brows.  And yet at no less cost than that was God's own Son "heard in that He feared."  When someone, far dearer to us than our own souls, is laid down on his death bed, to say "Not my will, but Thine be done," --at what a cost is that said in such an hour!  What a heart-racking price has to be paid for that prayer!  And yet, pay that price we must: pour our hearts into that prayer we must, if we are, like our Lord, to be made perfect by suffering.

And not at death beds only, but at times which I will not trust myself to put words.  Times also, when a great cloud of disappointment and darkness gathers over our life: when some great hope is forever blasted: when some great opportunity and expectation is for ever gone, and never to return.  To lie down before God's feet and say, "Not my will but Thine be done," at such times--at what a cost is that said and done!  And to say it without bitterness, or gloom, or envy, or ill will at any one:  and to go on to the end of our lonely and desolate life, full of love and service to God and man, --at such a sight as that, God says, "This is my Beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased!  Come up hither.  Inherit the kingdom prepared for thee before the foundation of the world!"

Monday Night Soccer

Monday nights throughout the summer the kids go to soccer.  This is run by a man in our congregation who uses soccer as an evangelism tool.  The kids all play soccer then there is a time for a message and prayer.  The kids LOVE it.  Here are some shots.  These were taken the last day of soccer.  Eric played with the bigger kids and Lindsay and Paul played with kids their own age.  During a round robin play-off game, Eric and his team of six won gold.  They were the smallest team yet definately played the hardest.  They deserved those gold medals!!!  Paul and Lindsay also won first.  All I have to say is man, were those kids ever excited on the way home....try getting them in bed after that!


Paul gearing up for his corner kick.  He is informing his teammate of where the ball is meant to go.

Paul's corner kick.  His style is.....unique.

The younger league.  They always had a lot of fun!

The Blue Team--winners of the gold medal.

Eric single handedly taking on the red team.

Lindsay playing goal.

Eric and his best pal.

A Walk along the River