Letters Home

I think one of the most frustrating things about homeschooling is that after you teach the kids for 6+ hours, you suddenly turn into the parent and now get to help them with the homework that they didn't finish during school hours.

Today as the teacher, I should have written a couple of notes home.

Dear Parent,

Today your son/daughter was extremely disruptive in class today.  He/she was standing on his/her chair and making loud cawing noises at the ceiling while slapping his/her rear end.  As a result, the other students were horribly distracted and were not able to complete their work in the allotted time.  Amazingly, your child DID finish all the material that needed to be covered--as well as the next 4 lessons.  Indeed, your child frustrates me to no end.  Could you please find a better educational facility for him/her?

Sincerely,
The Teacher


Dear Parent,

I love the way your son/daughter writes.  I just wish I didn't have to endure the 15 minute temper tantrum that ensues immediately after I assign a new writing assignment.  I must say however, that his/her spelling has improved significantly in the last year.  But of course, this has probably stemmed from the dozens of dictionary pages I have assigned him/her to write after all those tantrums.  I am recommending that we do not push him into a desk job....

Sincerely,
The Teacher


Dear Parent,

Please review the addition and subtraction flashcards with your child this evening. Amazingly, the child seems to be regressing daily.   It is quite evident that he/she needs MUCH more practice.  Please incorporate these measures immediately to stop this downward spiral.  Too much regression will land him/her in a special home or an asylum you know...

Sincerely,
The Teacher

No Order Please!

Lindsay and Courtney's room needed a serious overhaul.  Their room resembled a re-enactment of a school class of ponies and barbies on a field trip to the local landfill.

Armed with a couple of garbage bags and 2 empty laundry baskets, I tackled the room.  It took a couple of hours, but it looks GREAT now.  There's nothing under the bed.  There's nothing under the dresser.  There's no garbage on the bookshelves or clothes stuffed under the mattresses.  The beads have been vacuumed out from the baseboards.

Courtney HATED my work when I finished.  With enormous tears and loud wails, Courtney surveyed the room and loudly declared, "I NO LIKE DIS!"

And she would NOT take her nap in the clean room.

I asked her if she wanted me to throw all the garbage back in the room.  "Yes!" was her adamant reply.  Talk about getting no appreciation for your labour.....

She followed me everywhere, completely over tired and sobbing hysterically.  When I put her in her bed she howled all the louder, telling me, "I DON"T LIKE ROOM!"  "I NO SLEEP HERE!!"

Finally I had to administer some serious discipline.  Sulkily accepting her fate, Courtney settled into her bed and promptly fell asleep.

Today she still tells me she does not like the clean room.  Every time she steps in the room she lets me know.  Hmmm, I wonder what her house will look like one day.....

Nothing a Little Cereal Won't Take Care Of...



I awoke to my son crying outside my bedroom door at 4:30 this morning.  In my groggy state of mind I asked him what was wrong.  He claimed he had a really bad stomach ache.  I told him to go to the bathroom and see if it would go away if he, well, you know. 

 

I went back to bed and lay awake for awhile, analyzing who should stay home from church with Paul in the morning, and who should stay home in the evening.

 

Anyways, as I got up 2 hours later, I came to the kitchen to see this:

 

 

Paul had made himself breakfast using a huge mixing bowl, 1/3 of a box of cereal and a pile of milk.  There is nothing wrong with this boy's stomach except that it was very, very empty at 4:30am.  My grocery bill is going to be horrendous when he's 14.

SQUIRREL!

With great amusement Dan and I enjoyed watching this squirrel try to get off the trampoline the other morning.  I'm not quite sure what possessed him to get on in the first place.  He was extremely twitchy.

 

 

 

 

 

Kittens

"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy........I need a kitty."

That's what I've been hearing every day from this little girl for the last while.  Today we found her 3 free kitties.